State Fair and other thoughts

Day 3 of the state fair is officially over. Seven more to go. Things are going well. So well that I am running out of supplies. Tomorrow is free day so it should be well attended.
Today was grandparent's day. I was able to talk to most of mine, though I didn't get to see any. The guy in the next booth is fond of saying that grandchildren are a person's reward for not killing their children. He says it about a hundred times a day and seems to think it's original. Oh, well.
Today is also the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the WTC, Pentagon, etc. That was a traumatic morning. I was pregnant. I was in college, in my music education class and the teacher came in and said something was going on. She kept trying to make a TV in the classroom work and running to the teacher's lounge to watch the news. Then she would come back and say something real quick. It wasn't making sense. What do you mean a plane hit the building? Twice? Then she dismissed class without ever actually having class. I got in the car and turned on the radio and finally began to comprehend what was going on. I was at Douglas headed south on Hillside when the second tower fell. I cried even more than I am now remembering it. When I got home I woke up my husband and said that we'd been attacked. He was as confused as I was when the teacher started talking to us. He got up and turned on the TV and it was so horrible. My dad was traveling a lot for work and I didn't know where he was. It took a long time to get him on the phone. He was in Chicago and had been evacuated from the Sears tower or something. I couldn't get a hold of my mom either, none of could, and even though we were half a country away from the tragedy we all kept calling each other until we were sure that she was safe. I was as overwhelmed with grief and disbelief as I am about Katrina. I cannot begin to process the pain of the magnitude of these tragedies. It enters my mind and leaves through my tears without me ever grasping or understanding. I don't think I want to understand though. I remember one time I was very upset about a crime involving a child and I kept asking how someone could do that and saying that I didn't understand. My wise and wonderful DH said, "Do you really want to?" What would it say about me if I could make sense of that? He was right. He's right a lot. He's truly fabulous. I am truly blessed and incredibly fortunate. Life is good. There's plenty of sadness to be found, but then there is that smile...and the smell of sleeping babies, and hugs from small boys who are acutally almost as tall as me and not nearly as small as I try to keep him in my mind. I am rambling and my contacts are getting very dry now that I have had them in for 16 hours. Good night. God bless us--every one.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, I got up before dawn. I went to work. I got off work and helped my mom move. It's 10 o'clock and I just got home. My kids are mad at each other and don't want to go to bed. I desperately want to go to bed, and it makes me feel OLD. There are a million things I would rather do than go to bed, but I haven't quit yawning since I got up this am. I'm tired into my bones. I wish my body could keep up with my thoughts, plans, and ideas. Aside from being tired, though, I am quite content with my life right now. I feel so blessed! Even stuff I want to change, I feel like it's happening. My kids are growing more amazing everyday. I love my husband more all the time. My house keeps getting more fixed up. I feel like Im growing as a person. I love my friends. I love my family. I love being in love. I do not love Pizza Hut. My dinner is not agreeing with me. Maybe that's part of getting older too. :)

Devestation

I am shocked and angry and disbelieving. My mind cannot begin to grasp what has happened in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I read such a small percentage of the information out there and even that is too much. I don't know how to process it. I don't know how to understand. I know how to cry, but I don't know how to explain it to the boys when they ask me why. I don't know why. I cannot fathom why. I want to DO something. They say all we can do is send cash. I don't have that much cash. And the news reports say next to nothing is getting through anyway. What is cash going to do if no one can get there? People think money is the answer to everything, but it's not. This is going to take so much more than money. Dear Lord, we need a miracle. Please, rain down your grace and mercy on these people, let their cups run over with safety, love, food, water, and everything else they need. You know their needs better than I do. Lord, flood them with blessings. You fed 10,000 with fishes and loaves. Feed these people. Guard them from disease and violence and mayhem. Keep them safe and lead them out of this. Thank you Lord.
Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to Change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.