State Fair and other thoughts

Day 3 of the state fair is officially over. Seven more to go. Things are going well. So well that I am running out of supplies. Tomorrow is free day so it should be well attended.
Today was grandparent's day. I was able to talk to most of mine, though I didn't get to see any. The guy in the next booth is fond of saying that grandchildren are a person's reward for not killing their children. He says it about a hundred times a day and seems to think it's original. Oh, well.
Today is also the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the WTC, Pentagon, etc. That was a traumatic morning. I was pregnant. I was in college, in my music education class and the teacher came in and said something was going on. She kept trying to make a TV in the classroom work and running to the teacher's lounge to watch the news. Then she would come back and say something real quick. It wasn't making sense. What do you mean a plane hit the building? Twice? Then she dismissed class without ever actually having class. I got in the car and turned on the radio and finally began to comprehend what was going on. I was at Douglas headed south on Hillside when the second tower fell. I cried even more than I am now remembering it. When I got home I woke up my husband and said that we'd been attacked. He was as confused as I was when the teacher started talking to us. He got up and turned on the TV and it was so horrible. My dad was traveling a lot for work and I didn't know where he was. It took a long time to get him on the phone. He was in Chicago and had been evacuated from the Sears tower or something. I couldn't get a hold of my mom either, none of could, and even though we were half a country away from the tragedy we all kept calling each other until we were sure that she was safe. I was as overwhelmed with grief and disbelief as I am about Katrina. I cannot begin to process the pain of the magnitude of these tragedies. It enters my mind and leaves through my tears without me ever grasping or understanding. I don't think I want to understand though. I remember one time I was very upset about a crime involving a child and I kept asking how someone could do that and saying that I didn't understand. My wise and wonderful DH said, "Do you really want to?" What would it say about me if I could make sense of that? He was right. He's right a lot. He's truly fabulous. I am truly blessed and incredibly fortunate. Life is good. There's plenty of sadness to be found, but then there is that smile...and the smell of sleeping babies, and hugs from small boys who are acutally almost as tall as me and not nearly as small as I try to keep him in my mind. I am rambling and my contacts are getting very dry now that I have had them in for 16 hours. Good night. God bless us--every one.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, I got up before dawn. I went to work. I got off work and helped my mom move. It's 10 o'clock and I just got home. My kids are mad at each other and don't want to go to bed. I desperately want to go to bed, and it makes me feel OLD. There are a million things I would rather do than go to bed, but I haven't quit yawning since I got up this am. I'm tired into my bones. I wish my body could keep up with my thoughts, plans, and ideas. Aside from being tired, though, I am quite content with my life right now. I feel so blessed! Even stuff I want to change, I feel like it's happening. My kids are growing more amazing everyday. I love my husband more all the time. My house keeps getting more fixed up. I feel like Im growing as a person. I love my friends. I love my family. I love being in love. I do not love Pizza Hut. My dinner is not agreeing with me. Maybe that's part of getting older too. :)

Devestation

I am shocked and angry and disbelieving. My mind cannot begin to grasp what has happened in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I read such a small percentage of the information out there and even that is too much. I don't know how to process it. I don't know how to understand. I know how to cry, but I don't know how to explain it to the boys when they ask me why. I don't know why. I cannot fathom why. I want to DO something. They say all we can do is send cash. I don't have that much cash. And the news reports say next to nothing is getting through anyway. What is cash going to do if no one can get there? People think money is the answer to everything, but it's not. This is going to take so much more than money. Dear Lord, we need a miracle. Please, rain down your grace and mercy on these people, let their cups run over with safety, love, food, water, and everything else they need. You know their needs better than I do. Lord, flood them with blessings. You fed 10,000 with fishes and loaves. Feed these people. Guard them from disease and violence and mayhem. Keep them safe and lead them out of this. Thank you Lord.
Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to Change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

My First Big Yellow Box Party...

was a success. Everyone said they had fun. The pressed flowers turned out beautifully. My display was great, if I do say so myself. I only got about 1/2 the sales I wanted, but I got twice the bookings I expected...so I guess it evens out. A couple of people still might order, so there's hope. Anyway, I love these products and I believe in this company and I think this is going to be bigger than I can picture right now. Actually, sometimes I get a glimpse and I get scared. Just like going to the Fair. That's HUGE. For me, anyway. I think part of me has always wanted success and money and stuff. But part of me has always been scared of being TOO successful, TOO rich, things getting too BIG...somehow it feels like I'm going to lose myself somewhere along the way. But it doesn't have to be that way. I resolve to stay true to myself, my values, my family, and my ideals. I also resolve that this authenticity does not prevent me from being rich, successful, or from accomplishing my dreams and goals. If I were to be the biggest BYBer ever, or to win the Nobel Prize for literature, or to be rich beyond my dreams...I would still be me. Life is good. Life is good even when I'm not rich, or famous, or whatever. It almost seems silly to even imagine more than I already have. Two absolutely amazing, brilliant, beautiful, healthy children. One amazing, loving, sexy, fabulously wonderful husband. An eccentric but loving extended family, and in-laws. A good job. The opportunity to help others. The beauty of nature. The temperature at sunrise. Good friends. Good music. Laughter. Love. I could sit here all night listing a million things that I am grateful for. Thank you Lord for everything. I already took my contacts out before I started writing this and I'm not wearing my glasses, so this is probably a lot of typos.
I'm reminded of a song my mom used to sing to me. "When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother: What will I be, will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: Que sera, sera; whatever will be, will be; the future's not ours to see; que sera, sera...
The beautiful surprises of everyday and every year...another blessing.
Good night.

Life Lately

Life lately has been hectic and fabulous and exhausting all at once! My new business--Big Yellow Box--is off to a running start with a booth at the State Fair booked for next month. The contract came today, but it is too much mumbo-jumbo for me. Hopefully, it will make sense to my honey. :)
My new job at work is SUPER BUSY! I think they are working on making some changes, but they aren't discussing them with me. I do like getting off earlier in the day, but I really don't like having less days off every week. Well, I knew it would be like that before I took the job, so...
My tiny one is sick AGAIN. Fever, cough, gasping for air in his sleep, all that fun stuff. Of course, he got sick the day before I started a four day stretch of working days with no pto available. I guess it's lucky for us that Sean's job is so flexible, but now it is nine at night and he's still not home. Left for work as soon as I got home. :(
Well, the sick one is begging for cartoons...

I got a cat!

Most people who know me can't believe it, but I got a cat! We adopted him off our front porch. Sean took him to the vet and got him checked out. He had a fever, but other than that he's all right. He's about two years old and I've named him Jake. He meows soooooo loud. He's doing better though. The first night he did it all night long. He's still scared of Baxter, but Baxter pretty much leaves him alone and they seem to be getting over it. I usually can't stand cats, but I really like Jake. He's very friendly. He love for you to pet him and he purrs and purrs.

I can still get down!

Hey, my little sister told me that if I posted that I can still get down, then I wouldn't be lame. :) So here it is. Besides, it's true!

I got it!

I found out today that I was chosen for the new position at work! Yea! Home for dinner every night, pick up the kids every day, wow! Still every other weekend, but that's all right. Oh, and they switched my weekend, which means I do have to work labor day weekend. I won't be able to help Mom move...
We went swimming this afternoon at Joseph's friends house. We had so much fun. Rachel, the mom, is way cool. I just love talking to her. And she's from New York with a great accent. You know, I just realized that Friends was in New York and none of them had an accent at all. Hmmm. Anyway! Rachel told me about a piano teacher that lives next door to her and charges $10 an hour. Now Joseph can take piano lessons! He loves the piano.
I think he may be getting sick again. He's been coughing all night. And dissolving into tears every 15 minutes. He just climbed up on my lap so I am typing with one hand, so I guess I will go for tonight.
I also got to hang out with Maggie the last two days, which was absolutely great!!!! Love ya, sis!

Job change?

Well, here I am again...wishing my honey was home and knowing it will be another 3 hours, by which point I should be in bed. I may be switching positions at work. Really, it's just specializing within my position I guess. I would be doing patient assessments for over half my shifts. The other almost half I would do regular patient care. Right now I do both at the same time, but they've decided to have six people be the core assessment group with charge picking up assessments when one of the six isn't there. It would mean switching to eight hour shifts...which would mean working more days...but it would also mean being home before dinner every night. It would mean picking the kids up from school, making dinner, doing homework. And, it would mean more time with my patients...which I would really like. Anyway, I told them I was interested, and they said they are holding interviews next week, so we'll see.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Well, I read the whole book yesterday. I got low-worked and sent home. I went back to sleep for a couple hours while Sean finished the book. He had stayed up all night Saturday, only going to sleep after he finished the book at ten o'clock Sunday morning. Anyway, I read enough to catch up to where Eric had fallen asleep while Sean was reading aloud. Then I started reading out loud to Eric. When he quit listening, I just kept going. I still can't believe what happened in the book. Or that the story will be finished in one more book. I guess we'll find out if she sticks to that plan, but probably not for a couple more years. Just as well, yesterday traumatized me enough. I know it's silly to get that emotional over a book, but I was.

How Sweet Joseph Is

A couple of nights ago I was looking in the Fine Arts schedule for Collegiate. I told Eric they had guitar lessons. He said, "Electric guitar?" I said no. He said he only wanted to play electric guitar or drums. I said they don't have drum lessons.
A few minutes later Joseph came into my room with his toy drum and said, "I will teach you Mommy" and started playing his drum. He was so sweet, smiling up at me, playing his drum.

Good Books

Well, it was a really long day at work. I'm so exhausted lately. I called the doctor's office and left a message for the nurse to try and get a possible explanation, but she just left me a message to make an appointment. Great, now I can pay the doctor to not know what's wrong. I think I'm better off not knowing at home for free.

Anyway, I'm listening to The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy on CD in the car. I forget the author, but he has a cool sense of humor, even if the story does have lots of completely made up words and various aliens. I haven't seen the movie yet, but so far the story is pretty good.

I also started reading Too Late to Die Young today. Another good sense of humor. The author, a middle-aged woman with muscular dystrophy, is an atheist, but other than that I like her okay so far. She became convinced she was dying at a very young age, but has now managed to live past 40 (not sure exactly how old she is), become a lawyer, and write this book. I think the subtitle is "mostly true stories from a life", or something like that.

Of course, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince comes out at midnight on Saturday morning so soon that's what I'll be reading whether the others are done or not. I have to work Saturday and Sunday, so I told Sean he has until Monday morning to finish the book. Really, I hope he's done before I get off work on Sunday, but I think the book is over 600 pages, so that's kind of asking a lot.

Life is Good

I feel so blessed to have my family, my home, my safety, everything. A few days ago a gentleman patient of mine asked if he could pray for me, and then asked if there was anything specific I would like him to pray for. I honestly couldn't think of anything to ask for beyond all the blessings I already have. I told him I was so blessed, I had no requests.
It sounds like it is getting ready to storm. I didn't know it was coming. Looking out the window now I can see that Kansas wind picking up. I think I'll go sit on the porch and read. I love the smell of the rain.

Plans

I hope to use this blog to keep in touch with my family and friends. Tonight, it's all I could do to get signed up and start to figure out how everything works. Now it is 10:30 and I have to work in the am, so it is time for me to get ready for bed. Tomorrow or the next day I will be sending out invites or whatever to ask all my favorite people to join me.

Cool blog

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/